Sitcom-kind-of-life

I'm sitting at the local Caribou sipping a Pomegranate Vanilla Oolong Tea Latte. I told the cute cashier guy that the name was far too long and they should just abbreviate it to PVOO. Ha. I don't think he caught the reference. It cost me $3.13. Why I had to spend a few bucks to sit in here where they have free wireless is beyond me, since I have an office with internet in the Midtown Mall that I spend way too much on every month. Sometimes, though, you need to escape to the world of Friends or How I Met Your Mother and sit in a public meeting space like you have a sitcom-kind-of-life.

In my sitcom, there are laughs and embarrassing moments but there are also major moments of weakness. Moments where you break down, fall apart, and crumple onto the cat hair covered carpet in your apartment wondering how you got to where you are. As a life coach, I preach making choices and decisions from your core values so that the direction you take coincides with what you most deeply desire. It is much easier to look at your life and know exactly how you got there from the decisions you made, than it is to wonder where the past decade has gone or how on earth you dug yourself so deep. For being just a few months shy of 26 years old, I can honestly say I've gone both routes already. And I'm sure I'll dabble in both again.

So yesterday, in a moment of weakness, I called my kindred spirit, Susan, out in Seattle and told her I didn't know how I had failed so badly at life. I lay on the floor in an exhausted heap, pondering to her how I had ended up in the financial situation I'm in, how I'm still single, how I have nothing tangible to show for my efforts in my career.

On some level, I knew exactly how I ended up where I am because the choices I've made in the past two years have been the most conscious and calculated ones I've ever made. Despite knowing myself deeply enough to make those kind of decisions with long-term plans, the American desire to see immediate results and have tangible accomplishments to show others in the short term is very pervasive. Hence why I have moments of weakness like everyone else. It's a constant balancing act.

Susan reminded me that my life was not going to be like many others. My career choices and relationship style are very counter cultural and the choices I make will have an impact but the impact is not something we can measure with graphs or figures. She knows me on a level like no one else, which is why I called her at my most vulnerable, and she always puts me at ease. She reminded me why I empower other women and that I need to remember to empower myself in return. Support like that is a rare treasure. I thanked her, but my words can't compare to the energy of my appreciation I send her from 1,550 miles away.

One important reminder I took from our conversation yesterday is that writing is an essential venue for me to process my choices and life's direction. I started this blog as a way to not only empower and inspire others, but to empower and focus MYSELF. When I don't blog for a long period of time, I slip into those moments of doubt and frustration. That's not to say I don't still have doubts or get frustrated, but writing through those experiences helps me process them and move forward. When I don't explore and let go of "stuff," it holds me back from enjoying the other parts of my sitcom-kind-of-life.

Viewers need to watch characters in a sitcom that they can relate to, so there are moments of drama eased by comic relief. Today, I'm writing about drama. Comic relief will leak out at some point. ;) While the characters almost always possess elements of both like true life experiences, there are typically cookie cutter stereotypes in each show to amplify the drama or comedy. Without Barney, for example, How I Met Your Mother addicts would quickly bore of week after week watching Ted struggle in relationships.

verb: to overpower the thoughts, emotions, or senses of

The past month has seen quite a number of changes since I last wrote... I can't write about all of it, of course, and I am not entirely sure what I'm going to write about right now to be honest!

My birth center planning has continued. I am actually in the midst of a "How to Start a Birth Center" Workshop at the moment and am overloaded with information. There is so much to learn, so much to read, so much to do. Expected, no doubt, but still overwhelmed. Despite knowing on some level what amount of work is ahead of you, the overwhelm is not going to be eased.

It's funny how overwhelm works. Guess I'm writing about overwhelm! I find overwhelming situations to be very manageable when the proper support is in place. I would guess that most people feel the same way (once we get past the hurdle of having to ASK for support!). I've learned a lot about myself and my capacity for overwhelm throughout the process of starting this birth center business venture, but I've also learned a lot about other people and how overwhelm affects the way they offer support. I have learned that support shows up in all sorts of ways and that sometimes, the people we think will support us the most are the ones who are not able to.

The most important thing to remember during periods of overwhelm is that the people you lean on will react to your overwhelm. Their reaction is what helps or hinders your state of being - if their reaction is empathetic, curious, and calm, chances are you'll have an easier time dealing with the overwhelming nature of the situation you're in. I think, too often, we forget to take a second to contemplate our reactions. We go with our immediate response, like a reflex, rather than a calculated reaction. On the other hand, when seeking out support, we may not think about how that person will react. We often assume that because someone is our family member or close friend, that support is automatic and unconditional.

Overwhelm is a part of the human experience and it cannot be avoided all of the time. Plus, out of overwhelm can come growth, expansion, innovation, and productivity. I am grateful for this time in my life and know that I work well under pressure with a lot on my plate. I am also grateful that overwhelm shines some light on one's true capacity for collaboration.