Normally I'm a fan and share Upworthy links on my facebook page or business pages, but I'm actually disappointed with Upworthy for posting this. (Warning: explicit, not for children.)
Ladies - if you want to be a real feminist then start comparing apples to apples. When you ask for nudity below the belt from a man in exchange for the exposed topless women of countless shows, movies, and ads, you're essentially communicating that breasts are indeed sexual organs and on the same playing field as a penis. Guess, what. You're wrong, and THAT is the hard truth.
If there was a sudden influx of vaginas on screen, then I would wholeheartedly agree and exclaim, "Where are the penises for us women to enjoy?" Fortunately, some of our media has a shred of censorship left. And by shred, I mean a shhhred.
Meanwhile... other feminists are loudly vocal about the travesty of breasts being seen as sex objects, under the ownership of their lover, and not as the breastfeeding machines that they are. If we want to talk about double standards, then perhaps some of you "feminists" need to look inward and attend to your own hypocrisy first before bitch-slapping other hypocrites (pay attention to #14 in that video). We're all hypocrites sometimes, myself included, it happens. But don't expect to get change to happen in the way you want by promoting garbage like that College Humor video.
The change I want to see and want to work for is one of mutual respect. Feminism started as a movement for respect and yet, a small, loud-mouthed percentage of movers and shakers put this to practice by disrespecting men. We don't need to bring one sex down just to bring the other up. Those of you who don't appreciate having your vagina called other names, probably shouldn't resort to using terms like "dongs" or "schlongs" to refer to male genitalia. Those of you who hate having to try and read your guy's mind and wish he would just voice his opinion, shouldn't turn around and wonder why he didn't pick up on your "subtle" clues. Those of you who expect him to pick up the tab on every date or scrape your car off on a cold winter morning shouldn't be flabbergasted when he expects you to do the dishes. Is the double standard becoming more apparent to you? I see it everyday and it's sickening.
I'm not trying to rip down women, I'm simply trying to open your eyes to the reality of the feminist war we've been fighting. A lot of men have lost their "role" as a man and struggle to discover or reinvent an identity. They walk on eggshells with women, trying to respect her as a capable, 21st century member of the workforce while simultaneously trying to be a gentleman. Holding a door open for her could equally get a "Why, thank you, that's so sweet of you" or a "You old-fashioned jerk! I can hold open my own damn door, I'm a woman!" Both men and women are struggling immensely with navigating roles and identities, so let's show each other a little more compassion and respect.
Let's start by first respecting ourselves, our own bodies, and our own nudity, and then respond to the media with mutual respect for men's nudity, not an outcry for more of it. Degrading men will not help women achieve less degradation. When you give respect, you're more likely to earn it back.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Monday, June 10, 2013
1970's tile, 1990's music, and 2013 me
"I will buy you a garden, where your flowers can bloom..."
I'm enjoying the sounds of 90's alternative radio as I relax at my friend's new home in Proctor, MN. She purchased her first home last fall and has put a lot of work into renovating the 1970's interior into an elegant contrast of chocolate hues, pale greens, and crisp white woodwork. It reminds me of my massage room, and that's probably why I feel so at home and peaceful here.
While she is away at work today, I am enjoying the freedom to fill her kitchen with wonderful baking smells! My first recipe is inspired by the abundant harvest of rhubarb this spring!
Rhubarb Crisp
5 cups chopped fresh rhubarb
3/4 cup white sugar
3 T corn starch
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Mix together in a bowl and stir until well coated. You'll notice juice starting to seep out of the rhubarb.
1 1/3 cups oats
1 cup light brown sugar (packed)
1 cup flour
1/2 T cinnamon
3/4 cup melted butter
Mix together in a large bowl until crumbly.
Pat 1 cup of this mixture into the bottom of a buttered 8x8 pan.
Pour the rhubarb slop into the pan...
... and top with the remaining oat mixture.
Bake at 350 for 45-55 minutes until browned on top and bubbly on the edges. Serve warm with vanilla bean ice cream.
I'm enjoying the sounds of 90's alternative radio as I relax at my friend's new home in Proctor, MN. She purchased her first home last fall and has put a lot of work into renovating the 1970's interior into an elegant contrast of chocolate hues, pale greens, and crisp white woodwork. It reminds me of my massage room, and that's probably why I feel so at home and peaceful here.
While she is away at work today, I am enjoying the freedom to fill her kitchen with wonderful baking smells! My first recipe is inspired by the abundant harvest of rhubarb this spring!Rhubarb Crisp
5 cups chopped fresh rhubarb3/4 cup white sugar
3 T corn starch
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Mix together in a bowl and stir until well coated. You'll notice juice starting to seep out of the rhubarb.
1 1/3 cups oats
1 cup light brown sugar (packed)
1 cup flour
1/2 T cinnamon
3/4 cup melted butter
Mix together in a large bowl until crumbly.
Pat 1 cup of this mixture into the bottom of a buttered 8x8 pan.
Pour the rhubarb slop into the pan...
... and top with the remaining oat mixture.
Bake at 350 for 45-55 minutes until browned on top and bubbly on the edges. Serve warm with vanilla bean ice cream.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
The Feminine Mystique (but not really)
My last post was about never being too busy to live life, and then I went and missed nearly 7 weeks of writing... It wasn't for lack of things to write about. Those of you who know me know how passionate and overworked I get about a number of things. Not to mention that there is no shortage of women empowerment related material in the everyday news for which I could ramble about. I just got, well, a little busy. ;)
Today, I was struck by an article that has exploded on the internet, news channels, and has Angelina Jolie trending on Twitter. Many of you, I'm sure, are aware of her double mastectomy by now. Her article "My Medical Choice" appeared in the opinions section of the New York Times. In it, she discusses her difficult decision to help ensure she will be around for her six children and husband, Brad Pitt.
Near the end of the article, she hints at a deeper concern many women feel when faced with the decision of altering their body. She writes, "On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity."
For decades, the public has been sexualizing women. Young ladies grow up believing that being feminine means showing off some cleavage, swinging their hips, and pouting their lips. Likewise, many breastfeeding advocates and natural childbirth activists argue the distinctly feminine role we have is birthing children and being able to feed them from our bodies. Without intending to, I'm sure, several women have felt reduced to their body parts on both sides of the spectrum. We cannot deny that our bodies are different from men. We cannot deny that our ability to birth children and breastfeed is uniquely the woman's role.
There is something deeper than our physical bodies here... I am continually wrapped up in unraveling the mystery of femininity. I'm reminded of my sister's sculptures, many of which are naked women, and the responses she gets from friends and family members: "Why naked women?" She explores that mystery through vulnerable art forms, void of covering, exposed. I am reminded of many authors like Betty Friedan who try again and again to express in words what femininity is about. I am reminded of saints like Mother Theresa whose actions implore us to see the mystery in everyday life. I am reminded that femininity may always remain a mystery, but also, that it is a complex patchwork of so many different threads.
What makes YOU feminine?
Today, I was struck by an article that has exploded on the internet, news channels, and has Angelina Jolie trending on Twitter. Many of you, I'm sure, are aware of her double mastectomy by now. Her article "My Medical Choice" appeared in the opinions section of the New York Times. In it, she discusses her difficult decision to help ensure she will be around for her six children and husband, Brad Pitt.
Near the end of the article, she hints at a deeper concern many women feel when faced with the decision of altering their body. She writes, "On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity."
For decades, the public has been sexualizing women. Young ladies grow up believing that being feminine means showing off some cleavage, swinging their hips, and pouting their lips. Likewise, many breastfeeding advocates and natural childbirth activists argue the distinctly feminine role we have is birthing children and being able to feed them from our bodies. Without intending to, I'm sure, several women have felt reduced to their body parts on both sides of the spectrum. We cannot deny that our bodies are different from men. We cannot deny that our ability to birth children and breastfeed is uniquely the woman's role.
There is something deeper than our physical bodies here... I am continually wrapped up in unraveling the mystery of femininity. I'm reminded of my sister's sculptures, many of which are naked women, and the responses she gets from friends and family members: "Why naked women?" She explores that mystery through vulnerable art forms, void of covering, exposed. I am reminded of many authors like Betty Friedan who try again and again to express in words what femininity is about. I am reminded of saints like Mother Theresa whose actions implore us to see the mystery in everyday life. I am reminded that femininity may always remain a mystery, but also, that it is a complex patchwork of so many different threads.
What makes YOU feminine?
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