Passionate about insecurities!

I am actually surprised I haven't written about my passion for music yet! For those of you who grew up with me, you may be thinking, "It's about time!" I am blessed to have grown up in a musical family. My parents encouraged music and participated in a community choir which sang for masses at local churches, nursing homes, and retirement centers. All of my siblings and I participated in this mission choir for many years as we became old enough to join. It was an incredible lesson in harmonies, blending old and young voices, and singing from the heart. We sang to bring joy to people's ears, not to impress or perform.
Despite playing trumpet for nearly 10 years and being the band president (yes, I was band president), my true love is singing. I sang in nearly everything I could in high school: concert choir, chamber choir, solo/ensemble competitions, variety shows, and a musical. I turned petty high school dramas and relationship pain into song lyrics and created an artist profile on Purevolume.com. I was determined to create a cd someday. When I got to college, I decided to get a voice minor. I struggled with written theory and learning piano so late in life, but kept at it. I'd joined the gospel choir immediately upon arrival and sang my little heart out. Unfortunately, I may have sang my vocal chords out, too. After a bout of tonsillitis my first semester of college, I ended up having surgery over winter break to have my tonsils removed. After that, my voice was never quite the same. I will never know if it was the surgery or the belting in gospel choir or simply overuse, but my vocal chords wimped out. I proceeded to go through three semesters of vocal therapy and dropped my voice minor. My voice had now become a major insecurity for me.

Finally, during my senior year of college when I was running for Homecoming Queen, I decided it was time to face my fears and try singing in public again. I auditioned for Varsity Night Live (the campus talent show and Homecoming announcements) and was selected to perform as one of the 6 or 7 acts. I was so honored. You can listen to that performance on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=558031992846&set=t.59506078&type=3 if you're curious.

Recently, I have been singing again. I have been singing while cleaning my apartment complexes. :) Sometimes people hear me... (makes me think of Julia Roberts singing in the tub in Pretty Woman and Richard Gere's on the phone, telling his friend it's just the cleaning lady - remember that scene?!)

Anyway, a guy who lives upstairs was doing his laundry one day and inquired if I was a musician. I turned off the vacuum, and said, "Uh, yeah, you could say that." He proceeded to tell me about his kid's incredible talents and the band he was trying to manage. They were looking for the "right" female vocalist to fit their sound. I was dumbfounded. Over the next few weeks they got me some raw tracks and invited me to their studio in a nearby town. I loved the idea of sitting down with music and writing lyrics, vocal tracks, and harmonies... but boy was I rusty. It just didn't flow like it used to.

I decided to spend time listening to the female vocalists I admire to inspire me. :) I've been digging Emeli Sande, A Fine Frenzy, Keri Noble, Ellie Goulding, Missy Higgins, Kimbra, Florence & the Machine, MoZella, and Janelle Monae. I admire these women for their incredible vocal talents as well as their empowering lyrics. I really get the impression that they have found their unique style and "voice"and know how to use it.

So with June right around the corner, and ultimate frisbee season coming to a close this weekend, I'm hoping to get out to the studio more and spend some time delving into my right brain. Who knows, maybe some good music will come out of it!