The only thing you need to know about SEX

Warning: Adult content.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit groggy. I applied some peppermint essential oil to my chest and under my nose to alleviate some sinus pressure, and then loaded Pandora on my phone before hopping in a hot shower. (Hot is a relative term, I take lukewarm showers according to my boyfriend.) One of my favorite songs came on as soon as I got out of the shower: "Butterfly" by Jason Mraz. For those of you who haven't heard this song before, listen to it now. It is super sexy. It got me in a mood... I took my sweet time drying off and then danced around naked because I COULD. I continued to fold my laundry without getting dressed. I made some lunch in the nude, too. I love naked time. It is freeing, empowering, exhilarating, and relaxing. It makes me feel sexy. Unfortunately, naked time does not feel the same to other women. Many women dislike, or even hate, their bodies. (There are definitely men with body issues, too, don't get me wrong. The recent Glee episode titled "Naked" illustrated this.)

Why am I talking about naked time? With an increasingly brazen culture of sex-ridden media (Fifty Shades of Gray, sexy Go-Daddy models, Glee episodes, advertisements, Victoria's Secret, etc.), there seems to be a lot of focus on our bodies but little conversation and real "talk" about sex. So, I wanted to write today about another passion of mine: SEX. No, I'm not a sexual deviant nor am I a nymphomaniac. I happen to be a woman with a healthy sexual appetite. I really enjoy discussing sex. I think sex serves many purposes and can, and SHOULD, be a wonderful act. I've thought about becoming a sex therapist before, and may still consider it as a career down the road. Several of my friends have come to me with concerns and sex issues, and I've written a lot of sex-related material. I've dedicated a lot of my mental energy to determining the role of sex in relationships. I filled six pieces of bright orange looseleaf paper during my senior year of college about whether or not I wanted to lose my virginity before marriage. Some would say I was a prude. To each their own. I just think sex is a really special expression and shouldn't be frivolously engaged in, that's all. That's another topic for another road... I could write forever about my thoughts on sex, but today is for those ladies looking for "5 ways to rev up your sex life" and "the secrets to make him want you."

With Valentine's Day coming up next week, I got to thinking about relationships, sex, dating, and all that wonderfully delicious blogging material. Women everywhere are researching creative date ideas, romantic gifts, and the latest and greatest sex tips with fervor. I have filtered through a lot of that garbage on google for you, checked with Christian Carter, Dear Abby, and Dan Savage, and I'm here to tell you the answer to all of your sex (and relationship) problems. Yup, you'll finally have the answer and I'm giving it to you for FREE. That's right, no credit card. It won't even cost you your email address to sign up for my pesky newsletter. REALLY, TRULY FREE. The answer is:

Confidence.

You know the other great thing? Confidence can be free, too. No $29.97 for an expert's relationship book, no $99 gym membership fee, no $250/mo of sex therapy, not even $3.99 for that issue of Glamour magazine with the article "Let's Get Dressed: How to Look Skinny in Everything." GET UNDRESSED. Metaphorically... but literally for some of you! Get vulnerable! Confidence comes from within, and it starts with loving yourself, your body, and your personality. Easier said than done, right? Of course! That's why there's an entire market out there making millions off of those looking to increase their performance in bed, when in reality most people are looking to increase their confidence. If that gym membership is going to help you get there, though, then do it.

Or... you could take a risk. Don't wear underwear on Valentine's Day and walk around like you own the ground you walk on. Initiate sex (if you don't usually)! Make him pull the car over on the way to dinner and fool around for a bit like hormone-driven, high school teens. Step out of your comfort zone, laugh at yourself, get playful, and enjoy your body. Start small, start SOMEWHERE, and reap the benefits of your new-found sexy confidence.