Unfinished Business

I had an awful dream last night, well, rather early this morning. It felt so real that it stuck with me all morning and caused me to weep uncontrollably. I dreamed that I'd been executed for some reason - beheaded, to be precise. I remember feeling very calm and feeling very little pain during the actual experience, but I remained as a ghost for the rest of the dream. I walked around as my 26 year old self, talking to a few close friends who could still see me, and wallowing in painful memories of things I'd dreamed of and never done: like experience pregnancy and motherhood, travel to certain places, change the world... I was told by someone in the dream that I obviously had unfinished business since I was still here as a ghost.

I thought about unfinished business. I thought about loose ends in my life. I try very hard to live a life of purpose, with few or no regrets, and yet I still have things that drag on. We all have unfinished business.

Closing doors is really hard for me. Letting go and moving forward is not something that comes naturally to me. I am reminded during this holiday season that when I focus on gratitude and hope, letting go is a bit easier. When I am thankful for memories and past experiences, and I turn to the future with an energy of hope, then unfinished business becomes just business as usual.

Swagger and Spunk

The past couple weeks have brought the theme of CONFIDENCE to the forefront of my mind. I've been told throughout my entire life what a confident woman I am. Contrary to popular belief, confidence didn't come naturally to me! Most of me truly believed I was faking it, because on the inside I was terribly insecure for a long time. Throughout college, a three year spiritual development program, and a year of life coach training, I examined as many nooks and crannies of my personality as I could find at the time, faced some fears, acknowledged my shortcomings, and embraced the parts of myself I despised. Then, after all that work focusing on my weaknesses, I realized that I was totally missing a huge part of self-discovery.

Focusing on my weaknesses brought me some growth, yes, but it did nothing to boost my self esteem or confidence.

I started to explore where confidence came from. Internally searching myself hadn't done it thus far so I asked for feedback from clients and friends and I started to try and see myself how they saw me. I championed myself the way they championed me. It seems so easy to write about and to talk about, but in reality, it is really hard for people to do without proper support. Our culture condones being a victim and wallowing in a dark pit of sadness. It's familiar, comfortable, and acceptable. I decided I was sick of that. I wanted to truly walk in an energy of confidence and mean it.

How did I learn to embrace confidence? First, I had to figure out what the word confidence even meant. Confidence is defined by good ole Webster as "The state of feeling certain about the truth of something."  It became clear to me that I had to be certain of something within myself to obtain genuine confidence.

So, what was within me? Passion. A lot of passion. I was certain of that beyond all reason.

However, I needed help in focusing my passions. I invested in my own life coach, a business building program, and a lot of networking. When I invested my energy in what made me tick, what made me light up, and what made me want to get up in the morning, I discovered my core values came bubbling to the surface in no time. Once I had my focus on my core values, it was easier to align my actions and my vision. My life's purpose of empowering others, with particular attention on helping a woman "unleash her swagger," was crystal clear at that point. Pretty soon, I was walking my talk. And pretty soon, people were commenting on my confident swagger and spunk.

Everyone's swagger is unique. Your swagger is an expression of your inner workings and it is your's to own. Have you unleashed your swagger? If you're not sure or want to dive deeper, I'm developing a signature program that you're bound to love.

Acceptance in the NOW

Today is one of those days. You know, the ones where there isn't anything particularly wrong, but the weather is mucky and grey, the littlest setback or criticism sets you off, and you want to erupt into tears. It's not even PMS time yet, so you can't blame that. My writing will be a bit haphazard, and may not even follow one train of thought, but I've got to get some stuff down.

Last night, my father reminded me that one's vulnerability is what makes us human, it's what reminds us that there is something bigger in the world than us. I guess my demanding attitude, persistence, and decisiveness had given him the impression that I'd abandoned or lost my spirituality. My belief in the energy of the universe is strong, and I believe more fervently now than ever before that I'm following my heart, soul, and intuition. It isn't easy, but I'm supposed to be navigating this direction. I do not have all of the answers or the pieces in place, nor should I. I'm not trying to force things to happen, but I'm acutely aware of the things I can make happen. My best friend also questioned my spirituality and direction of my life in the past year, and things between her and I have never quite been the same. Unknowingly, she offended the core of my very being because she hadn't taken the time to ask about how I'd changed. It is hard to allow people close to us to change, let alone change drastically. It is also hard to acknowledge that maybe we don't know someone as well as we think we do.

It has become apparent to me that many strangers have a better sense of who I truly am than my own closest family and friends. I can engage a stranger within seconds of talking to me, and my groundedness, passion, charisma, and intelligence is easy to see. I exert little effort in impressing anyone, but on the flip side, I also rarely show anyone my vulnerability. As a result, I've been known to be "rock solid" and dependable. I've been seen as extremely strong by so many friends my entire life that I've often felt that I had no one I could be vulnerable with. When I do open up, and expose my weaknesses, more often than not others just minimize them, try to fix them, or try to relate to them in their own life. Sharing your own sob stories is not helpful. All I'm asking for is to be validated in feeling the way I do, and to be listened to. I'm asking to be accepted just as I am, for who I am NOW. Not for who I was when I was young.

I am vulnerable. I wear my heart on my sleeve and share it easily with others. I spill out my passion and energy and neglect to keep some inside to keep me flickering. I love quickly and deeply, without expecting it in return. I have always been a giver, to a fault, and now that I'm trying to be more careful and cautious, I have people questioning my behavior and my spirituality. I have every right to protect myself, and if it comes off as confident or arrogant to you, well I don't really care. No one has proven to me yet that they are safe enough or strong enough to handle all of me, so why should I share my dreams, thoughts, passions, and love with them?

Birthday notes, and tunes, and melodies

I don't sing enough.

I've been listening to Tristan Prettyman and Casey Abrams today for my birthday... singing along at the top of my lungs, feeling so high on life and loving every breath I take on this first day of the 26th year of my life. Every time I catch myself in one of these moments I ask myself why I ever stopped singing and why I never pursued creating an album...

then I remember...

I was a vocal minor in college and destroyed my voice in Gospel Choir. I had a tonsillectomy and rested my voice/throat for a few weeks only to find that I could scarcely sing my second semester of freshmen year. I enrolled in vocal therapy on campus and my first therapist was named Jocelyn. (I intend to name a daughter after her one day.) I learned about the plethora of ways I was incorrectly using my voice... my laugh, my yelling, my pitch, my whole personality was not conducive to healthy vocal chords. I went through three semesters of therapy trying to break habits and learn how to use my voice.

I dropped my minor.

And I began to believe I'd never sing again...

By my junior year, I was studying abroad in Thailand. One of the women in the program brought her guitar and wrote her own music. She inspired me and I worked on a song by Schuyler Fisk with her. We ended up performing it at an International Festival on campus in Chiang Mai. This was the first time I'd performed in public since high school. A flame burned brightly inside me again for three and half long minutes... a flame that had been extinguished for quite some time.

I performed the same song with another guitarist back in Eau Claire during Homecoming of my senior year. Some friends recorded this performance and it is actually somewhere on Facebook. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality... and at my voice.

Since then, I've dabbled in song writing but never completed anything. I've got a bunch of tidbits and melodies in my head, but no piano or guitar playing capability so it's difficult to put together. I've resolved myself to being a local karaoke junkie for now. Look for me at G Allen's, Biology, Ace Bar, the Legion, Blue Line, etc. Lol. Seriously though, I'm going out to the Ace on Thursday night to celebrate my birthday. Feel free to stop in and belt out some tunes with me!

21st Century Politics and Women

Google "binders full of women" and you'll get nearly 16 million hits already. The facebook group with this title had over 120,000 likes in just over an hour. There are celebrity photos (like Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing) with binder-related remarks strewn all over the internet. This phrase, taken out of context, is another silly attempt at slandering the Romney ticket.

When asked about the equal pay issue facing women in our workforce today, Romney thought he was tackling the question quite solidly with his anecdote about hiring women on his state cabinet. Unfortunately, he phrased his request for female applicants poorly and the public went viral with his "binders full of women" comment in a matter of minutes. Not to mention the rest of his anecdote was condescending and patronizing.

I am not here to defend Romney or ignorantly continue the slander. What I want to point out is that this election is CRUCIAL for so many women, for so many families, for the future of our country and our global presence... and WE'RE CONCERNING OURSELVES WITH A BINDER COMMENT.

Women, please pay attention. Your vote matters. This comment will forever remain symbolic of Romney's overall response to women's rights and issues that were finally brought to light during this presidential debate. He had an opportunity to shine, and he biffed it. Majorly. We need to take this debate seriously and look into the facts. Whose voting record supports women and their health (financial health, physical health, reproductive health, etc.)?

If you are one of those people who says you don't like politics, or you don't care about politics, PLEASE WAKE UP and attend to your civil duty of voting. No, it's not fun. No, most of us don't like it, but it was a hard-earned right for many of us to even have the ability to vote, and the direction of our country is suffering because of apathetic, uninvolved citizens.

$peak Up

It's quite late and I should really be getting to bed, since I've got a dentist appointment in the morning and a client ready to deliver a baby at any given moment... but my head is spinning from the documentary I just watched. It's available free online to stream until September 22nd if you are interested in watching it. The movie is called Genetic Roulette and it was created by the Institute for Responsible Technology. It's only about 85 minutes long and well worth your time. Even if you don't believe a word of it, awareness of what people are saying/researching/thinking/protesting is valuable.

So, why has it got my panties in a twist? GMO's and genetically modified foods terrify me, and they should terrify you. Watch it. This isn't about instilling fear, this is about educating and informing the public. This is about encouraging consumers to ask questions and request proper labeling. This is about discerning what our choices are and what the consequences of those choices are.

Why am I writing about it? Because women make up 80% of the buying power in America and when our women make informed choices, our communities can be improved. If we want something to change, then sometimes we need to use our dollar as our voice. If we expect Monsanto and other multi-million dollar corporations who run our country from behind the political scene to listen to us, we have to use the language they understand: Money. Many women do not feel eloquent or confident enough to speak up, but spending your money on certain products, or NOT spending your money on certain products, speaks volumes to the companies that respond to consumer demand.

So $peak up.

Let the funding, BEGIN!

Here we go! I've launched my capital campaign for the birth center finally. It's taken two long weeks to prepare, but I wanted to make sure it was just right. Please visit http://igg.me/p/173326?a=880637 to read about it, and consider donating. Then, spread the word! Share the link on facebook, twitter, linkedin, and everywhere else you can think of. This project will only succeed if a little is given by a lot of people. Please help in any way you can. Thank you!

I also have to send a huge thank you to my sister, Missy, for helping me with the video production. She spent countless hours perfecting it and getting my message across. Much appreciated!

I choose not to accept it

If you've been online, watched television, or listened to the radio in the past month, you've probably heard about the rape discussions by politicians, the infidelity of Kristen Stewart, the breastfeeding photo on Time Magazine's cover, and the healthcare reform debates over women's reproductive choices. What do these issues all have in common? Women's sexual health.
From a recent article on Huffingtonpost.com regarding Kristen and Robert's split, I want to echo this: "For any girl growing up who pays attention to the media, it's a terrifying time to understand what it means to be a girl in society." Terrifying.
The article is written by a man, Nico Lang, and paraphrases quotes from famous male personas in the media who have all contributed their two cents regarding women's sexual health, and it got me wondering: Where are the women? The author dubs this year of filthy media as a "war on women" and I found myself asking how I was going to fight it, then asking... ARE women even going to fight? Are we going to DO anything about it? Why aren't we speaking up for ourselves? Many women in the public sphere are not doing much to lend momentum to the women's movement started decades ago. In fact, some of them are downright taking us backwards! We've got famous females like Rihanna returning to their abuser and conservative Sarah Palin running for political offices to represent us. Where are the culturally intelligent, well-respected, and confident women with integrity? Where are society's women that represent me, my sisters, my cousin who started her own law firm, my co-captain from college ultimate who has worked on carbon reducing projects, and so many other incredible women in my life?
We're working hard in the communities we live in. We're right here, and here, and here. We just need to stand up and represent ourselves. How?
By choosing to not care about the trivial relationship status of two young actors which will likely change several times as they explore their early 20's. By not embracing a culture of sexualizing women. By breastfeeding normally, and maybe even in public, so people understand that boobs serve a purpose and it's not a sexual one. By challenging the balance in media attention - when men are caught cheating or sleeping around, they're applauded, but women are bullied and harassed to the point where their careers may be over. (If you haven't read the article I mentioned above about Kristen Stewart, please do so.)
We can choose to raise our daughters with healthier perspectives. Rather than focusing on how cute, how pretty, our little girls are, we could focus on how good they are at writing or drawing or playing soccer. We can encourage our young women to treat others with respect, to treat themselves with respect, and to demand that others treat them with respect. We can encourage sexual health education so women understand their bodies and their choices. The biggest thing we can all do, I think, is to simply choose not to accept that this is the way our culture is.

National Birth Rally 2012

I had the privilege to be a part of history this past Monday. I attended a national birth rally in Minneapolis at Lake Calhoun with roughly 200 other people who gathered to walk around the lake in hopes of raising awareness. Awareness for what? Evidence-based maternity care. The rally was organized nationally by www.improvingbirth.org and nearly 100 cities across the US organized rallies on the very fitting holiday of Labor Day. Visit their site for more information! This may possibly be the largest women's movement in decades. It's not just for women, though. This is for everyone. You were born, weren't you? You may want to have your own kids someday or you may already have children. You may have nieces or nephews and/or have witnessed a woman in your life go through the process of labor. Birth is a normal process and should not be treated like a "condition" or a disease that needs to be cured. Fear and/or money should not be the basis for our decision making around birth: clinical research and evidence should.

Some rallies may have looked more like protests, with individuals carrying cardboard signs on stakes or people gathering on the steps in front of hospitals. This was NOT a protest. This was an attempt to help educate our communities where everyone is affected by birth outcomes. The education and awareness we hoped to raise is simply this: Ask questions. Ask why policies and protocols are in place. Ask why procedures and interventions are done or not done. Ask yourself what is best for your body, for your family, and for your baby.

Our hope is that the research that has been done in maternity care will not take 20 years to come to fruition. We, as a society, can not wait that long. Women deserve quality care and to have their voices heard. Women and babies deserve the best possible outcomes and America, being the leader in spending on healthcare, deserves to have lower rates of maternal and infant deaths.

I was honored to walk around Lake Calhoun Monday morning with some incredible women and families. Several strollers and toddlers made the trek, complete with their yogurt-covered raisins and sippy cups. Each woman at that rally gave birth in her own way: some at home in a tub of water, some at the hospital with their doula by their side, some by C-section, and some in a neighboring birth center. Birth occurs in different forms and can take place in a variety of settings. Women deserve to have the information available to them so they can make the best choice for their own pregnancy.

Sitcom-kind-of-life

I'm sitting at the local Caribou sipping a Pomegranate Vanilla Oolong Tea Latte. I told the cute cashier guy that the name was far too long and they should just abbreviate it to PVOO. Ha. I don't think he caught the reference. It cost me $3.13. Why I had to spend a few bucks to sit in here where they have free wireless is beyond me, since I have an office with internet in the Midtown Mall that I spend way too much on every month. Sometimes, though, you need to escape to the world of Friends or How I Met Your Mother and sit in a public meeting space like you have a sitcom-kind-of-life.

In my sitcom, there are laughs and embarrassing moments but there are also major moments of weakness. Moments where you break down, fall apart, and crumple onto the cat hair covered carpet in your apartment wondering how you got to where you are. As a life coach, I preach making choices and decisions from your core values so that the direction you take coincides with what you most deeply desire. It is much easier to look at your life and know exactly how you got there from the decisions you made, than it is to wonder where the past decade has gone or how on earth you dug yourself so deep. For being just a few months shy of 26 years old, I can honestly say I've gone both routes already. And I'm sure I'll dabble in both again.

So yesterday, in a moment of weakness, I called my kindred spirit, Susan, out in Seattle and told her I didn't know how I had failed so badly at life. I lay on the floor in an exhausted heap, pondering to her how I had ended up in the financial situation I'm in, how I'm still single, how I have nothing tangible to show for my efforts in my career.

On some level, I knew exactly how I ended up where I am because the choices I've made in the past two years have been the most conscious and calculated ones I've ever made. Despite knowing myself deeply enough to make those kind of decisions with long-term plans, the American desire to see immediate results and have tangible accomplishments to show others in the short term is very pervasive. Hence why I have moments of weakness like everyone else. It's a constant balancing act.

Susan reminded me that my life was not going to be like many others. My career choices and relationship style are very counter cultural and the choices I make will have an impact but the impact is not something we can measure with graphs or figures. She knows me on a level like no one else, which is why I called her at my most vulnerable, and she always puts me at ease. She reminded me why I empower other women and that I need to remember to empower myself in return. Support like that is a rare treasure. I thanked her, but my words can't compare to the energy of my appreciation I send her from 1,550 miles away.

One important reminder I took from our conversation yesterday is that writing is an essential venue for me to process my choices and life's direction. I started this blog as a way to not only empower and inspire others, but to empower and focus MYSELF. When I don't blog for a long period of time, I slip into those moments of doubt and frustration. That's not to say I don't still have doubts or get frustrated, but writing through those experiences helps me process them and move forward. When I don't explore and let go of "stuff," it holds me back from enjoying the other parts of my sitcom-kind-of-life.

Viewers need to watch characters in a sitcom that they can relate to, so there are moments of drama eased by comic relief. Today, I'm writing about drama. Comic relief will leak out at some point. ;) While the characters almost always possess elements of both like true life experiences, there are typically cookie cutter stereotypes in each show to amplify the drama or comedy. Without Barney, for example, How I Met Your Mother addicts would quickly bore of week after week watching Ted struggle in relationships.

verb: to overpower the thoughts, emotions, or senses of

The past month has seen quite a number of changes since I last wrote... I can't write about all of it, of course, and I am not entirely sure what I'm going to write about right now to be honest!

My birth center planning has continued. I am actually in the midst of a "How to Start a Birth Center" Workshop at the moment and am overloaded with information. There is so much to learn, so much to read, so much to do. Expected, no doubt, but still overwhelmed. Despite knowing on some level what amount of work is ahead of you, the overwhelm is not going to be eased.

It's funny how overwhelm works. Guess I'm writing about overwhelm! I find overwhelming situations to be very manageable when the proper support is in place. I would guess that most people feel the same way (once we get past the hurdle of having to ASK for support!). I've learned a lot about myself and my capacity for overwhelm throughout the process of starting this birth center business venture, but I've also learned a lot about other people and how overwhelm affects the way they offer support. I have learned that support shows up in all sorts of ways and that sometimes, the people we think will support us the most are the ones who are not able to.

The most important thing to remember during periods of overwhelm is that the people you lean on will react to your overwhelm. Their reaction is what helps or hinders your state of being - if their reaction is empathetic, curious, and calm, chances are you'll have an easier time dealing with the overwhelming nature of the situation you're in. I think, too often, we forget to take a second to contemplate our reactions. We go with our immediate response, like a reflex, rather than a calculated reaction. On the other hand, when seeking out support, we may not think about how that person will react. We often assume that because someone is our family member or close friend, that support is automatic and unconditional.

Overwhelm is a part of the human experience and it cannot be avoided all of the time. Plus, out of overwhelm can come growth, expansion, innovation, and productivity. I am grateful for this time in my life and know that I work well under pressure with a lot on my plate. I am also grateful that overwhelm shines some light on one's true capacity for collaboration.

The ladies who lunch

Like many other people out there, I am quite passionate about finding ways to save money. I am a coupon-cutter and very proud of it. :)

Yesterday, I drafted a shopping list based off the sales and coupons in the weekly Cash Wise ad and determined meals from the ingredients I was getting for cheap. I was intending to make a cilantro-lime crab salad in avocado halves for lunch today since my wonderful, cheery cousin was joining me for lunch, and as luck would have it, imitation crab had a buy 1 get 1 free coupon! I already had the other ingredients, so this worked out beautifully. I did my grocery shopping last night and saved 26% off my bill using coupons.

Diced tomatoes, cilantro, red onion, and crab
with a little mayo, lime, S&P, and cumin.

The crab salad turned out great, despite my lack of adherence to proportions or measurements. I just chopped however much I felt like of cilantro, tomatoes, and red onion, and stirred in a large scoop of mayo, then sprinkled in some salt, pepper, and cumin, and squished some lime wedges over the mixture. I did add the correct amount of crab. :) The other thing I did differently was scoop out some of the avocado, so I had a bigger "boat" to fill with salad, and mashed it up to stir in the salad.

(It is also helpful to brush the avocado halves with lime juice to prevent them from browning.)

Remove the pit by stabbing firmly with a knife
then scoop out some of the avocado to create
a shallow "boat" to fill with crab salad.

Oh! Also along the lines of saving money is my tip to check out discount grocery stores, especially for produce. Aldi's and Save-a-Lot have recently moved into town and are incredibly busy all the time. It is sometimes hit or miss with the ripeness or quality of the produce, but generally I've had a lot of luck finding 69¢ mangoes, 19¢ lemons or limes, 99¢ strawberries, and more!

Back to avocados and lunching with one of my favorite ladies...

My cousin and I had a perfect summer luncheon complete with a peach spritzer and strawberry pecan salad (with the pecans I caramelized yesterday). I felt as though I should have worn my cute polka dotted dress and discussed the latest in women's fashion.

Dancing to the beat of a different drum

To follow-up from yesterday, because I'm sure you're all dying to find out if I actually did my dishes, I wanted to say that it's amazing what a little music can do for one's motivation. I put on a great playlist of favorites from the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's and went to work.

In a little under 90 minutes last night... I did the dishes, cleaned my kitchen appliances, wiped all the counters and table, swept the kitchen floor, cleaned the bathroom mirrors, sink, and toilet, and cleaned the litterbox. 

Today, I vacuumed the living room and even used that neat, fandangled nozzle end to do the edges and behind furniture. I also made caramelized pecans and tatertot hotdish and did my grocery shopping. Yay for productivity. Now for pictures of my fun caramelizing escapade:

Coating made of whipped egg white, brown sugar, and vanilla

The final product after 15 minutes of baking at 275 degrees

Burned by the fires of passion

I am always amazed at how my physical health affects my emotional health. It is something I clearly know about and understand, yet, when I don't make sure I am eating well or getting consistent sleep I wonder why I'm so distressed! I stayed up last night until 2am watching movies on cable. I can't tell you why, I just had no ambition to do much else. As a result, I slept in until 10am and woke up groggy. I ate some mango and granola, then spent a couple hours on my laptop - primarily wasting time on facebook. Then, I finally went to the park with my best friend for a picnic at lunchtime. After that, I laid in bed all afternoon and took a nap. I made myself a salad and hamburger for dinner and now it's 7pm. I've done nothing all day. And I have a scratch in my throat and sinus pressure that threatens to evolve into something worse...

Let's recap the past couple weeks: I've been running around with my head chopped off, trying to keep track of a bunch of loose ends, navigating the end of a relationship, working in a new office space, and not taking very good care of my health or home environment. It is a no brainer why I feel so off today.

Being passionate about so many things in life tends to lend itself to days like these. Sometimes, I just need to crash and sleep a lot and try NOT to take on the world for once. People say you don't get burnt out when you're doing things that matter or that you're passionate about, but the truth is, getting burnt out is the result of poor self care. When I get so wrapped up in all the wonderful things I want to do or am doing, oftentimes it is easy to overlook "me" time. Taking a brief moment to breathe deeply, journal, contemplate, meditate, and reground is something I neglect to do when I get busy. I'm not alone in this, as I have had several clients report similar experiences.

There's nothing wrong with burn-out, I suppose, so long as I don't allow it to dampen my spirits or permeate my attitude for days to come. I just need to take some time and regroup.
I am going to turn on some music now to help wake me up while I do the dishes.

Those summer nights

Here's a few pictures of henna designs I've done. These were taken last night at the Summertime by George festival that happens every Wednesday evening. If you haven't been out to Lake George to check out this free event or to see me, you're missing out! Last night's crowd enjoyed beautiful weather and the infamous Johnny Holmes Band. I tried a caribbean rice bowl this time and it was bursting with flavor. I can't wait to try some of the other foods offered in the upcoming weeks. I won't be there next Wednesday doing henna, unfortunately, but you can find me there every Wednesday night from 5-9pm for the rest of the summer!

Harmonies, black raspberries, and families

I went with my younger sister to her audition for a local adult choir yesterday. My older sister and I had briefly prepared a SSA piece with her to help showcase her ability to sing against harmonies. I think it went well, and now I need to seriously think about my audition in August. My older sister has been part of this choir for a little while now, and my sister-in-law joined last year too. It would not only be a fun thing to be a part of, considering the family involvement, but I so badly want to be in a choir again. I love singing, but I love singing in a full bodied choir even more! Here's hoping I haven't gotten too rusty and raspy that I won't be good enough to make it.

After the audition, I got to play some intense family volleyball. We play every Monday evening and it's a great way to stay connected to family and enjoy a sport I love. The heat has broken finally so it was fairly beautiful weather to play in last night.

This morning welcomed an opportunity to visit the farm and help my mom pick black raspberries. The crop is pretty dismal compared to other years, but I got almost a pint to take home. Black raspberries grown naturally and picked fresh compare to very few other fruits... the purplish stains left on my fingers are reminiscent of some very enjoyable experiences as a child.

I enjoy reminiscing about childhood. This is perhaps part of what makes hanging out with my family so fun - the inside jokes, stories, and memories shared with a tight-knit group of siblings can't ever be replaced or mimicked by another group of people.

Without even realizing it, I have written an entire post in regards to family! I could have gone back and edited this posting now that I know what my topic is; you know, the way you're taught to organize an essay with an intro, thesis, preview of main points, etc. There's something beautifully organic, though, in simply writing and recounting the events of the day only to stumble on one of my passions! I feel incredibly blessed to have the family I do. I feel even more blessed that this core value of mine is being honored and lived out each and every day of my life. I know far too many people that respond, when asked what they would do if they found out they had 6 more months to live, that they would spend more time with family/friends.

What's stopping them from doing that already?

Cool salads for a hot summer day

Today I spoiled myself with not one, BUT TWO, of my favorite summer salads. For lunch, I made a strawberry/lettuce salad with poppyseed dressing and for dinner I had a fresh tomato and mozzarella quinoa salad. Here are the recipes in case you care to try them out this summer:


Strawberry Spinach Salad
Fresh spinach
Fresh strawberries, sliced
Almond Slivers
Red onions, thinly sliced
dressing (for large salad)
1/2 cup Mayonnaise
2 T Strawberry Vinegar or white wine vinegar
1/3 cup sugar
2 T poppyseeds
1/4 cup whole milk

The salad is based off of my mom's recipe - when the spinach and strawberries were ripe in the garden, we frequently got to eat this delicious salad during my childhood. Unfortunately, I didn't have spinach today. I had some artisan lettuce (you know, that hearty green and purple leafy lettuce stuff). I didn't have red onions either, so I diced some spring onions. I used Apple Cider Vinegar and I didn't have milk so I used some lemon juice and water to thin the dressing. I also mashed up some strawberries and blended them into the dressing so it was a light pink color and had natural strawberry flavor. It tasted great!

... and the recipe for the Quinoa salad is one my sister found online.

Like my lunch salad, the quinoa salad was also missing some of the required ingredients so I adapted it. I just diced up 4 oz fresh mozzarella, a tomato, 2/3 cup cilantro, and 1/2 cup spring onions to mix with the 1/3 cup cooked quinoa. I like my salad more veggie based than grain based, so you're welcome to play with the proportions. I ran out of lemon juice (since I used most of it in the poppyseed dressing!) so I squeezed fresh lime juice in place of it. The lime went very nicely with the cilantro actually.

Birth Advocacy and what it means to me

I've been having numerous discussions with people lately about birth choices. I could just talk for hours and hours! I've recently devoured the documentaries "The Business of Being Born" and "Pregnant in America" as well as numerous internet articles while expanding my library of resources at home. I met with a lactation consultant recently at my new office and we poured out our hearts and souls to each other about our passion for being birth advocates.

Since labeling myself as a birth advocate, I feel compelled to write today to clarify what that means to me. I am not anti-medicine, I am not anti-hospitals, and I am not anti-interventions. This means that if they are used during birth, I will support a mother in the same respectful, honorable role and I won't think any less of her! However, this does not mean that I think they are right for every mother. Being a birth advocate means I work to ensure that a woman's choice about how she births is respected. It is my utmost concern that she and her baby are healthy, and that she emerges a confident, empowered mother. This can be done in a hospital, or in a birth center, and it can be done at home. It is the women whose wishes are not respected in those settings who come away feeling powerless or dejected. It is the women who aren't fully educated or don't understand their options that may not experience birth in a positive way.

I want to be clear about one thing though concerning my position as a birth advocate: I believe that birth is a PROCESS our female bodies were designed to participate in and NOT a medical condition to be controlled like a disease or treated like a symptom of an underlying medical issue. About 90% of women will labor just fine, without issues or complications, and this should not be a shock to the healthcare community since it's the way we were designed to reproduce as a species. Women were laboring for generations and generations before IV's, drugs, forceps, vacuums, ultrasounds, and hospitals were around. Thankfully, with the age of technology and medical advancements, we can now help those other 10% of women with reducing many birth-related risks.

Should how we aid that 10% with complicated pregnancies form the status quo for how we deal with normal pregnancies? No. When we do, we choose to expose the other 90% to a plethora of unnecessary risks.

Some women want pain medication or an epidural during labor. Should they feel any less empowered than a woman who chooses to go "natural?" Absolutely not. Some women end up needing to have C-Sections to ensure the safety of the baby and should not be made to feel that they are any less of a mother. Other women birth at home because it is the right choice for them, and are ridiculed for putting themselves or their babies "at risk." There are two sides to every coin, and what I essentially want to say is that each woman (possibly with her partner) needs to get informed and make the best choice she can.

Surveying the masses!

I have slaved over creating a survey to gather information for my birth center. I have a whopping 10 questions for you all to answer. :) I stopped at 10 because I wanted it to be quick and easy to do, but mainly because surveymonkey.com won't let me create more questions without paying for it.

Please click here and take just 90 seconds of your life to fill it out. You could spend 90 seconds of your life in so many other ways, I know, but this is really important. :) Thank you in advance!

Summertime by George

Quick little note here! I'm applying to be a vendor at the infamous Summertime by George festival every Wednesday evening through the summer out by Lake George in St. Cloud. I'll be doing henna tattooing from 5-9pm out there as well as selling some of my homemade jewelry. (NOTE: on the 4th of July, the festival will run from 3-7pm.) Please stop by to say hi or to get drawn on! :) A small portfolio of my henna work can be found here.

There is also great food, live music, other artisan vendors and goods for sale. Make sure to check it out, it's really a fun time!

Birth Center developments

Life's been a whirlwind of possibilities, opportunities, and movement lately! What a crazy week. For those of you who haven't quite caught up with me and my birth center plans, here's a little recap of my week:

Monday - visited Morning Star Birth Center in St. Louis Park, MN and met with the founder. She is now my new mentor/joint venture partner! :) Her name also happens to be Paula, I think that's a good sign.
Tuesday - visited the women at the Natural Source to meet my new office-mate and signed a 6 month contract for office space. I plotted out office hours and hope to gain some more exposure for my coaching/doula work as well as generate interest in the birth center project.
Wednesday - Paula came up to St. Cloud and we went scouting for properties. We discussed other business development topics/ideas and tentative next steps. I am trying to keep from getting overwhelmed! Then I took my mom canoeing down the Sauk River. It was awesome.
Thursday - discussed recent developments at my networking meetings and got a lot of positive feedback. Then I spent the rest of the day outside fulfilling my passions for outdoor activities: I went golfing for the first time (and didn't do half bad!), played volleyball in a local bar league and actually won 2 of the games, then played ultimate frisbee. I was still full of energy at the end of the day!!!
Friday - met with my sister's friend, Larissa, to fill her in on what I'm planning and hope to get her involved. I also did my first women's empowerment workshop that evening out at my friend's hair salon and felt like it was a great success!

I am now creating a survey to send out to my contact list (and hoping they forward it on) to gather information on the geographic region I plan to serve with my birth center. I am also researching the demographics and birth stats of the surrounding counties, as well as grant opportunities. I need to learn as much as I can about my service area as well as the city government I'm going to have to deal with...

I'm continuing to connect with people, network, share my dreams, and instigate conversation. Meanwhile... I'll just keep sending energy into the universe to send me the funds or the means to obtain funding since I didn't win the lottery on Wednesday.

Written in the stars

I am writing today about writing. This blog, in part, has reminded me how much I love writing. I've been a writer since I was very young - dabbling in poetry, song lyrics, short stories, incessant exchanging of notes with friends, and attempting to start a longer novel on more than one occasion.

Back when I started this blog, I was undergoing a 5 week business building course called "Profitable Signature Advantage" which was all about helping me find my edge, my special 'sauce', and then bottling it up in a message to my ideal clients. As part of that process, I began looking through testimonials and feedback from clients to help me pick out what they saw in me. Given I haven't had a ton of clients, I brainstormed other places to get "feedback" and realized that I had a yearbook from nearly every year of jr. high through high school with lots of feedback from people who watched me grow up. In my search, I stumbled across my 6th grade autobiography I'd saved. It is a thick binder full of chapters I wrote about my life at that time. They were structured chapters to fit an assignment, of course, and I had a whole page of feedback from my teacher in addition to two pages of little comments from my 6th grade peers.

Nearly every single comment from my classmates was in regards to how good of a writer or artist I was. Almost every... single... one. My teacher also included a "prediction for my future" and told me she thought writing was still an untapped area for me. She suggested I get a group of students together and request an advanced writing group the next year. How had I lost sight of my writing?

Well, school was part of it. I lost sight of my joy for reading, as well, in high school. From 9th grade through all of college, I scarcely wrote much outside of the required papers and essays and I read next to nothing for fun. I'm guessing I'm not alone in this boat.

Three years after college, I'm rediscovering the value of journaling, blogging, storytelling, and writing song lyrics as a way of expression, clarification, and internal reflection. Despite being quite self-aware, I wonder if I'd have fared better getting through high school and college if I'd taken more time to write about what was really going on inside (and outside) of me.

What's going on inside me now is a rumble of grumbles! I need some more raisin bran with coconut milk.

A picture is worth 1000 words

Today, I'm going to photo blog. Yup, photos to depict my various interests. (You can click on the photo to view a larger image.) The cool part? These are all photos I've taken since yesterday!

I had some fun henna-doodling on
my hand last night. I went to the
St. Cloud Art Crawl downtown
and drew on a couple other
people, too!

My favorite dish in the entire
world: Khao Soy.
It's a Thai coconut curry soup,
and I finally found a
good recipe to make it!

I spent a couple hours yesterday morning starting to draft the
wedding script for a ceremony I'm officiating in July.

Hot summer days are upon us, and
cold salads are just what I'm looking
for to hit the spot. I made this Mango
Avocado Salad yesterday from spring
greens, diced mango and avocado,
cilantro, and a raspberry vinaigrette.
I've made it before with strawberries, too.
Red onions might be a good addition as well!

The start of my library! I just
got a few books in the mail
and am excited to start reading!

The exciting news REVEALED!

I am laying low this morning - I slept in until almost 10am and then spent a couple hours writing a wedding ceremony script for two of my close friends who will be wed this July by ME!

I'm laying low because I've just had the most exciting 72 hours of my life and need to re-cooperate.

This past Tuesday, I sent out an email to the Central MN birth network to proclaim my decision to start a birth center in the St. Cloud area. I wrote a little about myself and my company. I rewrote my mission statement and goals as well as my intentions for the future. I included my request for volunteers as well as a business partner. Then, I sent out my energy into the virtual world with the click of a button. Well, as fate would have it, some women responded enthusiastically and some forwarded it on to other contacts they had. Meanwhile, in the actual world, I went to the Holistic Mom's Group Meeting on Tuesday night and networked with some live people. (You have to do both these days.) I expanded my contact list some more.

On Wednesday morning, I went to a holistic wellness center called The Natural Source with my cousin. My cousin was getting EDS done and I wanted to learn more. I got to talking with the receptionist and the EDS technician about my birth center and company mission, and they let me leave a sign up sheet for more contacts at their front desk.

When we got home, I had a voicemail from a woman named Paula. She was forwarded my email by a mutual contact and was very interested in talking to me. She said it was very interesting that I'd come forward at this time, as she had been pondering opening a birth center in St. Cloud for nearly a year. She founded one in Menomonie, WI in 2003 and another in St. Louis Park, MN in 2009 and was looking to open a third location! The St. Cloud area was her top priority. She thought we should collaborate and work together! I am really excited to meet her and tour her facilities soon!

On Thursday morning, I attended the local chapter of the La Leche League (for breastfeeding moms) and raised some more awareness about my project. I got a couple more names added to my email list, too. I had the goal to grow that list by 50 names every two weeks, and I'm well beyond my goal for June already! I will easily be able to double my expectations by the end of the month.

Early that Thursday afternoon, I got a call from the owner of The Natural Source saying it was very interesting that I had dropped off my information at the wellness center, because she'd been looking for "me" for a month now... She is an intuit and believes very strongly that I am supposed to become an affiliate of their center. She says they have no one who specializes in prenatal care, and that my coaching/massage/doula services would be a perfect fit under the umbrella of The Natural Source. Their mission is also about empowering women! I was pretty overwhelmed by all of this, but agreed to meet her that afternoon and tour the new facilities they were moving into.

I stopped in around 3:30 yesterday and got to check out the huge 22 room space they are moving into. The Natural Source will quickly become Central MN's go-to place for holistic/natural information. It's growing rapidly and the women collaborating to make this happen are incredible! I am not sure how to financially make this work yet, but I am arranging to join forces with them and move into a public office space.

I am reminded again of a quote by Margaret Mead from my doula dvd, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

Perhaps my graduating class was right when they elected me most likely to change the world... I just don't have to do it alone! :)

Passionate about insecurities!

I am actually surprised I haven't written about my passion for music yet! For those of you who grew up with me, you may be thinking, "It's about time!" I am blessed to have grown up in a musical family. My parents encouraged music and participated in a community choir which sang for masses at local churches, nursing homes, and retirement centers. All of my siblings and I participated in this mission choir for many years as we became old enough to join. It was an incredible lesson in harmonies, blending old and young voices, and singing from the heart. We sang to bring joy to people's ears, not to impress or perform.
Despite playing trumpet for nearly 10 years and being the band president (yes, I was band president), my true love is singing. I sang in nearly everything I could in high school: concert choir, chamber choir, solo/ensemble competitions, variety shows, and a musical. I turned petty high school dramas and relationship pain into song lyrics and created an artist profile on Purevolume.com. I was determined to create a cd someday. When I got to college, I decided to get a voice minor. I struggled with written theory and learning piano so late in life, but kept at it. I'd joined the gospel choir immediately upon arrival and sang my little heart out. Unfortunately, I may have sang my vocal chords out, too. After a bout of tonsillitis my first semester of college, I ended up having surgery over winter break to have my tonsils removed. After that, my voice was never quite the same. I will never know if it was the surgery or the belting in gospel choir or simply overuse, but my vocal chords wimped out. I proceeded to go through three semesters of vocal therapy and dropped my voice minor. My voice had now become a major insecurity for me.

Finally, during my senior year of college when I was running for Homecoming Queen, I decided it was time to face my fears and try singing in public again. I auditioned for Varsity Night Live (the campus talent show and Homecoming announcements) and was selected to perform as one of the 6 or 7 acts. I was so honored. You can listen to that performance on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=558031992846&set=t.59506078&type=3 if you're curious.

Recently, I have been singing again. I have been singing while cleaning my apartment complexes. :) Sometimes people hear me... (makes me think of Julia Roberts singing in the tub in Pretty Woman and Richard Gere's on the phone, telling his friend it's just the cleaning lady - remember that scene?!)

Anyway, a guy who lives upstairs was doing his laundry one day and inquired if I was a musician. I turned off the vacuum, and said, "Uh, yeah, you could say that." He proceeded to tell me about his kid's incredible talents and the band he was trying to manage. They were looking for the "right" female vocalist to fit their sound. I was dumbfounded. Over the next few weeks they got me some raw tracks and invited me to their studio in a nearby town. I loved the idea of sitting down with music and writing lyrics, vocal tracks, and harmonies... but boy was I rusty. It just didn't flow like it used to.

I decided to spend time listening to the female vocalists I admire to inspire me. :) I've been digging Emeli Sande, A Fine Frenzy, Keri Noble, Ellie Goulding, Missy Higgins, Kimbra, Florence & the Machine, MoZella, and Janelle Monae. I admire these women for their incredible vocal talents as well as their empowering lyrics. I really get the impression that they have found their unique style and "voice"and know how to use it.

So with June right around the corner, and ultimate frisbee season coming to a close this weekend, I'm hoping to get out to the studio more and spend some time delving into my right brain. Who knows, maybe some good music will come out of it!

Why aren't you doing that NOW?

This may seem like a strange interest or passion to have, but I am extremely passionate about relationships. I love coaching with people around relationships. I love exploring what is going on for them and where they're troubled. I love helping them align their core values and expectations with their actions so they are building the relationships they want. When asked to discern my core values during my life coaching training back in 2010, I knew immediately that relationships was at the top of the list. It has been my whole life. I am one of those people that bends over backwards for others, who is loyal to a fault at times, and who treasures the connections I build with other people.

Relationships are hard for a lot of people. Getting along with family members, building a healthy romantic relationship with another individual, and maintaining friendships all take work. They require care, time, effort, and most importantly - TWO people. One person cannot be bearing the weight or eventually they'll collapse. And the relationship typically collapses with them. I've had numerous relationships collapse in my life. Some I've let collapse because they were not healthy or weren't giving me what I needed, and others collapsed because the other person decided they weren't getting what they needed. It doesn't necessarily mean there was wrong-doing involved or that one person was to blame, it simply means that the needs and/or values didn't line up between the two individuals.

Yesterday, I underwent another value exercise at a workshop. Relationships was still at the top of my core value list. Part of this exercise was to find other descriptive value words that spoke to your definition of a particular value - since one word can mean so many different things to different people. I chose 'relationships' as my core value and grouped with it the words 'connection, family, friends, community, and loyalty.' Many other people in the group also chose family or relationships as a core value. While there are a lot of us out there who say we value family and relationships, there are a lot of us not honoring or living out that value. We were asked the question, "If you found out that you had 6 months to live, what would you do with your remaining days?" A lot of people answered, "Spend more time with family and friends." My thoughts were affirmed aloud by the workshop facilitator, "Why aren't you already doing that NOW?"

People tend to fill up their schedules with all sorts of activities, myself included sometimes. We get too busy to be available to our so-called loved ones and the people that matter. We work ourselves into the ground and trade our precious time and energy for green paper. We spend most of our time trying to earn a living, rather than actually living life.

Massaging my passions into reality

I've been losing sleep.
Not due to stress or tension, but to excitement. Ever had that happen? You know, when sleeping is tough because you can't seem to shut off the brainstorming and creative juices and the passion of what you're about to embark on? Despite the lack of sleep, I feel rejuvenated and more alive than ever. How is that possible, you wonder? I've connected to my passions, that's how!

Through blogging and an online business focusing program I've been doing this month, I've put a lot of time and thought into connecting my passions and interests. In doing so, I've come alive with energy to do the work I was meant to do!

One of my many passions that I haven't written about yet is massage therapy. It is time I bring that to the forefront since it has been a love of mine since middle school. I was lucky to have been raised in a household where my dad would sometimes give backrubs to me and my siblings while watching TV after dinner. They were hard and painful, but felt great when he was done! Thus, my siblings and I started exchanging backrubs in bed at night. We'd trade 5 minutes for 5 minutes since our little hands didn't last that long back then. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was the only one who actually enjoyed giving the backrub as much as I enjoyed receiving it. I continued to give backrubs to other family members and friends at school. My godfather/uncle supported my interest and gave me oils and massage books as gifts for Christmas or birthdays. Soon, I was in high demand at family reunions!

When I got to high school, I continued teaching myself a variety of massage techniques. I fell in love with human anatomy and biology. I started researching massage therapy training programs to attend after graduation. Most of them were 9 months or 12 months long and cost $9,000 - $12,000. I had saved money for college my whole life and was really excited about being able to afford a massage therapy program.

Now, my parents had other ideas. A lot of discussion was had about the viability of massage as a career, and to make a long story short, I ended up in a 4 year college setting. I continued to do massage throughout college and eventually starting running a "business" out of my dorm room during my sophomore year. When I went abroad to Thailand during my junior year, I treated myself to a 3 day Thai massage training and loved it. My interest in massage was not dwindling. Upon my return, I purchased a table on Ebay and had it delivered to my residence hall. I learned proper draping techniques, researched oils/lotions, and was able to offer better quality massages out of my dorm. I also ran for homecoming queen with the slogan "She'll Rub You the Right Way" and offered free massages on the campus mall every day of Homecoming week to promote myself. As fate would have it, I connected with the electrology institute in Eau Claire and was hired on as the massage specialist during my senior year. I had my own room at that building where all of my materials were provided for me. I was given DVD training in swedish, deep tissue, prenatal, sports, and hot stone massages. It was like a dream come true.

Well, life brought about many changes again and I found myself leaving my college town after graduation and moving home. I didn't lose sight of my desire to relax and heal people, and still offered massages out of my home as soon as I'd moved out of my parents' house. It was always on the back burner, but still simmering.

Now that I've moved into my own 2 bedroom apartment, I found myself with the freedom to make massage more of a priority. I turned one of the bedrooms into my fulltime massage room (as you can see above) and put a lot of thought into the colors, layout, energy, and feel of the room. I looooove spending time in that room. :)

The simmering seems to have come to a boil, finally. As I am creating a business to empower and strengthen women through accessing their inner stillness, I see coaching and massage as perfect compliments to doula services. I believe my clients will find a mommy-to-be package of prenatal massages, birth planning, and coaching to be beyond helpful in getting them the birth experience they want.

Here's my picketing sign: "Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby"

I haven't written in a while... because I'm really freaking busy with all my cookie jars!

I just got back from my Doula Workshop down in the cities. I was in an intro class from 8am-5pm on Friday, a breastfeeding class from 5-9pm that night, then in class from 7:30am-5:30pm on Saturday with reading homework that night, and class again from 7:30-4:30pm today. I am so incredibly overwhelmed with information and emotional stories and a deep passion for this work that I'm wide awake and exhausted simultaneously.

I've only told this to two people in my life: I'm pretty sure I was born to be an activist of sorts - to really step up and fight for something. You know, a REAL activist. Not like the hippies in the 70's with the posterboard signs stabled to wooden stakes, marching around in protest of something or other, and camping out with picnic lunches on the lawn in front of some important landmark. (Not to say that wasn't helpful, but not what I'm going for.)

I was meant to be an activist for empowering women, particularly those in labor. I truly believe that the experience of pregnancy and birth have a profound, lifelong effect on not only the mother but also on the baby. A mother's self-esteem, confidence, feminism, intuition, and primal instincts are all worn on her sleeve during this phase of her life. A baby's initial experience affects his/her temperament, sense of security and trust, and view of the world.

I intend to get a doula program implemented in the St. Cloud Hospital. I want women in the community to know what their options are for labor and to have a voice in getting the birth experience they want. I hope to shift the paradigm of birth being seen as a medical operation to a beautiful, natural process. Women's bodies were designed to reproduce and no technology can replace that. (disclaimer: obviously in the event of high-risk pregnancies, medical advancements are wonderful for saving the lives of mothers and babies.)

At the very least, I want to get a community doula program started - to lead educational programs, volunteer with low-income and single women, and advocate for a shift in the birthing world. At the very most, I want to design and build a birthing center, separate from the hospital, to offer natural birthing options (water births, movement/postures, etc.) with midwives, doulas, and nurses. I am not sure how I can achieve this yet, but I am going to figure it out. I have to.

I remember being voted "Most Likely to Change the World" in high school and I graduated thinking, "Well, great, thanks for THAT burden..." When it hits you in the deepest place of your soul, though, it sure doesn't feel like a burden.

Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink

Today, I used my dishwasher for the first time.

Groundbreaking news, I know. I even updated my facebook status to reflect the big news. I moved into this apartment at the beginning of 2012, and it included a dishwasher. Selling point for many, right? Especially if you don't pay for water! Well... I don't use dishwashers. I like washing my dishes. It's therapeutic. I also believe I use less water than a typical dishwasher (my apartment doesn't have a fancy schmancy high-efficiency one) doing dishes the way my mom taught me. I may not have to pay for the water, but I am passionate about reducing, reusing, and recycling what I can, when I can. I'll likely blog on ways to integrate the infamous 3 R's into your lifestyle in a variety of ways over the next month, but today we'll start with reducing water usage.

Did you know that less than 3% of the Earth’s water is fresh water? Nearly 97% of the Earth’s water is in the oceans and not suitable for human consumption. Of that 3% that IS suitable, only about 0.3% is found in rivers and lakes, which is where most of the water you and I use everyday exists. “Thus, rivers and lakes that supply fresh surface water for human uses only constitute about 0.007 percent of total water” (taken from http://ga.water.usgs.gov/edu/earthwherewater.html. Feel free to read more about how fascinating water is!) Clean, accessible water is quickly becoming more of an urgent matter than it has ever been, and we Americans seem to be oblivious to how wasteful our water habits are. On average, an American uses 100 gallons of water each DAY. That’s roughly 6 gallons of water PER WAKING HOUR.

• Don’t flush as often. The toilet alone uses, on average, 27% of the household water. Use the motto “If it’s brown, flush it down. If it’s yellow, let it mellow.”
• Fix leaky faucets immediately (12.7% of water usage is just from leaks). At 1 drip per second, a faucet can leak 3,000 gallons per year.
• Use cold water for laundry as often as possible – hot water only for really dirty clothes.
• While you’re at it, make sure you do full loads in the washer (or dishwasher) or set the machine to ‘small load’ to use less water.
• Invest in a good shower head and other efficient appliances if you can afford to do so (washer, faucets, toilets, humidifier, etc).
• Shower every other day unless necessary. Most people do not get THAT dirty each and every day to require a daily shower. It has simply become a habit rather than a requirement. My other suggestion is to take what’s called an “army shower.” I learned about these while I was studying abroad in Thailand and had to pay for my hot water. An army shower is basically a shower where you turn on water to get wet, then turn it off while you lather up your body with soap and your hair with shampoo. Then, turn the water back on to rinse off. It saves water and money by not using your water heater as much.
• Don’t run the faucet while brushing your teeth or shaving. This is just silly.
• Don’t pre-rinse dishes. Excel Energy reports this is simply a waste and doesn’t accomplish anything. Dishwashers do not need your pre-rinsing help (whether they’re a machine or human dishwashers!)
• Or, rather than use a dishwasher, try filling the sink with 2 inches of water to do dishes. When you rinse a dish, accumulate the water in your sink rather than running it down the other drain. Do the least dirty dishes first, and when you’ve got a sink full of more water, soak the tougher dishes. Don’t wash each dish with running water and a soaped-up scrub brush. Again, this is just silly.
• Peel and clean vegetables and fruits in a dish of water rather than running water.

I got the statistics from these sites:  http://ga.water.usgs.gov/edu/earthwherewater.html, http://www.epa.gov/watersense/pubs/indoor.html and

http://water.epa.gov/learn/kids/drinkingwater/water_trivia_facts.cfm. You are welcome to read more if you're interested!

Oh, and I unloaded the dishwasher only to find that it did a crappy job. So much for saving time and water... I'll have to wash half of them by hand again.

Wedding season is here... break out the henna designs!

The wedding I attended this past weekend brought one of my other interests to the forefront. Henna tattoos! Why you ask? Well, historically, henna art was part of the Indian wedding ceremony for the bride. At what we might call a bridal shower, the Indian bride would have both of her hands decorated in elaborate, intricate designs with henna. The new bride would not be expected to engage in "hand work" (i.e. dishes, cooking, cleaning, manual labor) until the tattoo had worn off (typically around 2 weeks).

Henna tattoos last anywhere from 1-3 weeks depending on the body part tattooed and the quality of care. Hands and feet dye the best and with application of essential oil, the tattoo will remain darker longer. Henna designs on the inside of the wrist, belly, or shoulder blades are usually much lighter and may only last a week. This is because of the thickness of the skin. The less you scrub or exfoliate the area will also make the tattoo last longer, as you're not removing layers of skin. Avoiding water in the first 24 hours of getting a tattoo is also important for getting the richest color.

You might be asking, how does henna work? Henna is a powder made by crushing the leaves of a henna plant. When the plant powder is mixed with an acidic liquid (like coffee, lemon juice, or tea) to form a toothpaste like substance, it has the potential to dye a person's skin or hair. The natural color of the plant is released due to the acidity. The green-colored goop is then put into an applicator bottle or bag with a fine tip so intricate designs can be done. After about 20 minutes, the henna mixture has dried and caked on the skin and will begin to flake off. The longer you can keep the green paste on your body the darker it will stain. As it begins to come off, you'll see an orange tattoo left on your skin in place of the paste. (You can see this above in the peacock design on my client's foot. The dark part is the henna paste still needing to flake off, and the orange parts are the resulting tattoo.) The henna tattoo will deepen and darken to a brown color over the next 24-36 hours.

I have a couple henna events coming up this summer. I will be downtown St. Cloud on the evening of June 6th for the "Downtown Walk-About." There will be all sorts of vendors and fun things to see, so please come out and support the downtown area! The following month, I'll be in St. Joseph. My church does an annual 4th of July bazaar to raise money and I have done henna at this celebration for the past five years to help raise funds. I work on the evening of the 3rd from 6-10pm and most of the day on the 4th. People of all ages enjoy this activity and love showing the tattoo off to friends and family.
I also enjoy doing private henna tattooing for birthdays, bachelorette parties, sports teams, dance groups, and many other special events. I worked with a belly dancing troupe in the area to prepare them for a performance last year, and one of those women also hired me this past Fall to do an entire body piece for a fire dance she was doing. It was spectacular to say the least! I've also had the joy of working with my sister's friend during her pregnancy to design a henna belly she loved.

Henna can also be used to naturally dye the hair with red and brown tones. I haven't tried this yet, but there is a ton of information on the internet to help you do it. Henna art is a wonderful way to adorn the body and accent a special event or moment in your life, without the permanency of a real tattoo. It is harmless to your health and naturally beautiful!

Ordination Explanation

I'm attending a wedding today for my cousin. I love weddings. They're always so much fun and everyone at them is typically in a cheerful mood. Weddings are a ceremony of tradition and ritual for most, but with our ever changing culture and society, there are a lot of nontraditional weddings happening out there. I happen to be a fan of nontraditional weddings. For example, I married my little sister. As in, I officiated the intimate outdoor wedding ceremony for her and her husband. I'll be officiating another wedding this summer.

I got ordained online back in June of 2011 when two close friends of mine asked me via email (they were teaching English in China at the time) if I would be interested in officiating their wedding in July 2012. I was deeply honored and excited about this opportunity. I went online and did some research on how I could do this. I found a site run by the American Marriage Ministries where you can get ordained. They ask that you take it seriously, of course, and only charge you to purchase printed credentials, marriage certificates, or a wallet ID. I'm sure many of you think it's a scam but I paid only $30 to get the paperwork I needed. Then, I simply brought my credentials to the county courthouse to have them put on file. Some of you might think this is a terrible sacrilegious act that's destroying the structure of marriage as we know it, but let me explain.

Often times a couple comes from different religious upbringings. Other times, a couple might not have any religious affiliation, yet still feel spiritually connected. These couples may find it difficult to find someone to perform their wedding who isn't a court judge. I see my role as an officiant to offer couples like these the chance to have elements of spirituality and sacredness incorporated in their wedding ceremony, without the boundaries of a religious tradition that doesn't mean anything to either partner. The ceremony can now be tailored to suit the two people whose union is being celebrated in a way they will remember and cherish forever.

Elephant mania

I said I would explain the elephants, so here's the story...

As a 7th grader, I was really excited about working for my uncle at the MN State Fair. I had never been to the fair before and I was also going to be earning money working in a fun environment! I was also scheduled to help the weekend before to get setup done. The first day of setup was spent getting the infrastructure in place - shelving, tables, signage, lights, table coverings - and then breaking open the boxes and boxes of wood handicrafts. I unpacked boxes of carved wooden animals in all varieties: cats, fishing animals, turtles, fish, and of course, ELEPHANTS! Something inside me fell in love (I know, I fall in love easily, leave me alone).

Once the long 12 days of the Fair were over and I received my paycheck, I inquired about purchasing some of the wooden elephant statues. My uncle graciously let me pick out a number of carvings and charged me a mere fifty dollars. Thus began the collection. Soon, friends and family members were bringing me back elephant statues from places they'd visited (like South Africa, Panama, and various zoos) and giving my elephant related gifts for birthdays. You name it, I probably have it in elephant style. I now own the following items with elephants on them:
- lamps (as depicted in a previous post)
- a white porcelain table
- silk bedsheet set
- wicker basket
- bookends
- wooden vanity
- underwear/socks/skirts/hoodie/other clothing
- magnets
- cookie jars
- teapots
- kleenex box cover
- candle holders and carved candles
- statues and many other trinkets
- jewelry (jade pendant, earrings)
- purses/bags
- and a tattoo... :)
- and probably a lot more I'm not thinking of now

When I reached college, I realized how silly it was to answer people with "I don't know, just always have" when asked about why I loved elephants. I started learning about them... and was even more fascinated than I was before! Did you know: They are the only creature with knees that can't jump (thank god! but they can swim) and they have a crazy long gestation period of 22 months - the longest of any land animal! There are tons of other cool factoids you can research if you're interested, with regards to their tusks, teeth, and thick skin.

I'm the one with my knees behind his ears!

While in college, I made the decision to study abroad in Thailand. There were several key reasons for this choice of location, but their national animal being an elephant certainly didn't hurt. :) I got to visit an elephant conservation center and ride bareback on an elephant! (I am so thankful for the experience I had there, and if you care to hear more about it or ask questions, feel free to let me know. I'm going to continue gushing about elephants now, though.) Elephants have long been a sign of good luck (if their trunk is up) in many cultures but I learned that Asian cultures view elephants as a symbol of wisdom. They are creatures of incredible memory and intelligence - they can be taught to paint and play soccer! They also represent a strong sense of family and community since they travel in herds and stay close together. They have very distinct sounds which make up a much more elaborate form of communication than we originally understood. Some of these sounds are unique to an individual or to a family of elephants.

Having a tattoo of an elephant on my body for life is not just a silly symbol of a childhood collection, but it embodies my core values of wisdom, intelligence, and family. I will carry those values for the rest of my life and the conversation starter of why I have an elephant tattoo typically allows me to share that with others.